The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
