totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
