I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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