I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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