are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize