FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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