they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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