I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
