Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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