Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
