If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
