Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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