we should wear snuggies to the strip club
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
