if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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