How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize