it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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