I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
