You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
