She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
