I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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