So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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