yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
