He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
