I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize