They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
