i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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