So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
