you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
