Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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