no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize