you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
