They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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