He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
