So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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