epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
