so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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