I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize