Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
