I faked an abortion last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize