Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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