Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fuck appropriateness.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
