I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
