i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
