i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
