She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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