i think i have herpe
just one?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
