Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
