please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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