stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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