if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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