I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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