...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
