you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
