How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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