You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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