id be glad to
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
