the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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