Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
