Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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