I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
