Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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