God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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